More Than Your Part

You are only obligated to give your portion of the effort.

Unfortunately, there will be times when others give less than their part.

Therefore,

If you are interested in the success of goals beyond fulfilling your obligations, give MoreThanYourPart.

Bonus points for doing any of this cheerfully.

Applies to:

Teamwork
Business Contracts
Marriages
Author/Reader Relationships
Conversations
Apartment-sharing Community
Friendships

...for example:

Complexity -- Deal with it, but don't deal it.
Punctuality -- Don't be late, but don't despise someone when they're late.
Credit for Work -- Try to be sensitive and give others credit, but try to be egoless when you are not given credit.
Offending People -- Try to keep from letting things get under your own skin, but try to be respectful of others sensitivity levels.

I would be a little more gentle when "others give less than their part." There are reasons this happens that may not be totally under the other person's control.

The dividing line between responsibilities may not be clear ("It's not my job!"), however people must set some boundaries.
One of the tasks may be much more complicated than anyone had thought. Of course the other parts are going to get deferred while effort is concentrated on the difficult part.

If you can, pick up the slack and meet the other person more than halfway. You will appreciate it when you are in a bind and someone else returns the courtesy.

The sage ensures his dues are met, 'though not expecting others to do the same; in this way he is virtuous. - Tao Te Ching (79)

[Requests to lower the obtusity of this page will be granted cautiously.]

More succinctly summed up in The Water Babies by the name of the character 'Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby' (as opposed to Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid) [The Water Babies is a "moralistic Victorian fantasy" by Charles Kingsley (1860s??): http://www.mastertexts.com/Kingsley_Charles/The_Water-Babies/Index.htm] ( BrokenLink )

A noble and good sentiment. "Do as you would done by" seems a nice alternate expression of The Golden Rule.

Through most of my youth and early adulthood, I tried to follow this philosophy, although not necessarily with full understanding of why, just because that's what I was "supposed to do." Over time, I noticed that (a) many, if not most, other people did NOT think or act this way, (b) I was being treated like a doormat because of it. In other words, I learned what everyone learns eventually: life isn't always fair, and people are flawed. I became somewhat cynical and pessimistic for a number of years, and became fairly selfish, not much of a team player at all. Now I'm coming out of that and returning to MoreThanYourPart, but on my own terms.

I think the expectations part of it is very important. If you behave in a "good" way in expectation that others will consistently return the favor, you WILL be disappointed. But if you behave in a "good" way for its own sake, for your own honor and sense of "right" and peace of mind, then you'll feel good about it regardless of what others do. Works for me, anyway... -- AndyMoore

Expectations of fairness and the following of the rules is just not how things are done in many workplaces, too often it is not the part you play and whether you do more than your part, but how the "more" is viewed by your peers! Some may see it a showboating, or perceive in it a threat to what they may consider "hard-won" security through association with the keepers and determiners of what is the truth. To do "MoreThanYourPart" is like the worn phrase used by those who drive people to give 110% effort. It is not possible! You can only give 100% effort. The measure must be against your own abilities and drives (not someone else's). Work to some may be competition, but to the professional, it is giving the best effort possible in order to get your job done. Taking on someone else's job, or taking up the slack may seem heroic but in truth it is not.

I have come to feel that a large part of my own experience of feeling doormat-esque in doing way way more than my part has been down to my own dumb inability to delegate, to set deadlines for handing things on (and sticking to them), and so on. Sometimes people don't pick up slack because you picked it up first (and shouldn't have). Making a conscious effort not to get involved helps - so I'm trying to fix me one day at a time... -- BrianEwins

My line has always been that the situation does not call upon us to be heroic but, rather, to do what we can as we can where we can. Ok fine call me a foolish optimist! --BenTremblay

See GoldenRule, PostelsPrescription?