Self Deceit

AntiPatterns are useful for clarifying what to avoid and are therefore not OffTopic.

SelfDeceit (or KiddingYourself) is practiced by everyone but me. :)

• AlmostTrue. Unfortunately I do that as well.
• Wait, I have been forced by circumstances...
• BlameYourselfFirst. ....
• And rationalization continues...

OpenAuthor

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...SelfDeceit, this fatal weakness of mankind, is the source of half the disorders of human life

• from "Emotional Economics" by George Loewenstein at http://www.iew.unizh.ch/grp/fehr/esd2001/loewensteintalk.pdf
• The author is a professor of Economics and Psychology and done research on conflicts of interests, etc. One of his article is listed in reading material section.

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Introspect often to mitigate SelfDeceit tendencies

Links between ApathyCalcified and SelfDeceit?

Over-invested causes such as birth control, political issues, social injustice, may represent, in part, attempts to fill personal emptiness

• The above is ForYourEyesOnly. I am OK :)
• sourced from "On emptiness and closeness", an interesting article at Journal of Pastoral Counselling at http://www.iona.edu/academic/arts_sci/orgs/pastoral/EMPTINESS_AND_LONLINESS.html

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I was recently on the receiving end of CriticizeBluntly in life. I purposefully put away the matter for a few days before reflecting on the comments. If I do so immediately, my defenses would go up and could wind up dismissing all charges. I could go into a HolierThanThou mode and sink into SelfDeceit without knowing about it.

• Above is a good reason to put away for consideration the comments received for a few more weeks. :)

All considered, SelfDeceit is not good as it is a DenialOfServiceToTheSoul. A person can get by without nourishment only for so long then getting visibly weakened. With MilesToGoBeforeISleep, I cannot afford the luxury of SelfDeceit. I am now getting hungry and yearn for ChickenSoupForTheSoul.

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Almost SelfDeceit but pragmatic

It may appear that I am providing "justification" for SelfDeceit here. Having said that, the Churchill quote in "AlmostTrue" is, on balance, valid.

"Rationalization" aside, if you have to "lie" because of "HigherPrinciplesAtStake", you will do a better job if you convince yourself first of what you "need others to buy-in".

Note FiveStagesOfGrief starts with SelfDeceit, it is only human to want to "shield" ourselves from the bad news.

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So what are the RulesToLiveBy, in terms of matters relevant to this page?

Probably one way is to make sure that there are frequent and ample opportunities for Introspection. Make it very apparent to yourself about your own self-interests, acknowledge its presence, as well as its "importance".

If you do not survive, you cannot be there promoting higher principles. OTOH, is the current situation that desperate? Are there indeed no other ways to proceed? Or perhaps "waiting" is the better choice for the moment?

In rare instances, people "sacrifice" themselves with survival at stake, believing that others in the community are better suited (such as skills, opportunities) to "carry the torch".

Tough questions and no easy answers.

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Reading material and references

Why Good Accountants Do Bad Audits at http://www.hbsp.harvard.edu/b01/en/common/item_detail.jhtml?id=2217

• requires paid subscription. Those privileged persons with access please advise the relevance of this link. [Excerpted at http://hbswk.hbs.edu/item.jhtml?id=3208&t=finance.]

Just as the straight line is the shortest distance between two points so is honesty the only proper attitude of one person toward another.

• from Honesty the Character builder at http://www.nowaffles.com/live/live7.htm

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CategoryAntiPattern