The Object Of Dating

Generally always the same for a given person (determined by religion and philosophy).

Objects which are DatingAntiPatterns?:

• Marriage and nothing less.
• Sex and nothing more.
• Filling a void in one's life.

(These are listed as DatingAntiPatterns?, because they are - responses below please - unless both daters want the exact same thing. That is possible, but very unlikely.)

Objects which are DatingPatterns:

• Enjoying the evening.
• Building friendships.

Objects which are more or less neutral:

• Finding out (not 'deciding') how much commitment one wants with this person.
• More generally, getting to know the person better.

The reason that enjoying the evening should be one's primary goal going into a date is that, prior to knowing a person well, one cannot, and should not attempt to, judge how much commitment would be appropriate. -- DanielKnapp

This is why, in the beginning, it's OK to PlanToThrowOneAway. If you're going to completely devote your heart and soul to a woman before you've even asked her out, you're setting yourself up for a crushing blow if she says "no".

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Consider refactoring. I wanted to add an antipattern, "Filling a void in one's life", but the ordinal numbers make it tough. Incidentally, if you're that needy, consider getting a pet.

Yeah, I tried to avoid phrasing it that way... Well I've just given it another try. Hah! Well yes, I *am* that needy, but I didn't realize this page showed it until you pointed it out. Oh, and I love my two cats, but not in that way.

You can consider dating a specialized form of simply getting to know more people. This is a good thing, generally: You can learn things about life from other people.

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I would like to adopt TimeTravel and send this page back to myself about 40 years ago. -- JohnFletcher

Would you really have listened? AdviceDoesntWork. --NickBensema