Stealth Tin Foil Hat

An improved upgrade to the TinFoilHat, but made of transparent plastic wrap, to avoid being tracked by radar.

"That's logic!" (Tweedledum)

I'm going to suggest that perhaps a hat painted with stealth bomber paint or another EM radiation absorbing material would be best, because one wants neither to reflect RADAR nor transmit mind control rays. Absorption is clearly the only option. -- JF

But then they will be able to see your radar shadow; your best bet is to get everyone to where the same tin foil hat so they can't tell who is who. -- jk

Velostat seems to be all the rage - http://aliensandchildren.org/ThoughtScreenHats.htm.

While the above seems to be the opinion of most wikizens, there are some supporters of this shielding - consider this recent edit:

The thought screen helmet is not a tin foil hat.

Alien abductions are real and so are the drawings.

The photo of the alien on stopabductions.com is a real photo.

For more information on alien abductions see ufoabduction.com, Michael Menkin, stopabductions.com, aliensandchildren.org.

All I'm going to say is the ExtraordinaryClaimsRequireExtraordinaryEvidence. Please present some.

See AlienLifeOnThisPlanet, LifeOnOtherPlanets. If it's on WardsWiki it must be true!

You don't think that plastic wrap reflects less radar than tin foil? You need to brush up on your basic EM theory. You might have a point if you warned that some kinds of plastic wrap are conductive, but since those are rare, and you didn't mention it, so presumably we're talking about ordinary plastic wrap, the burden of the proof is on you. -- SmugStealthTinFoilHatWearer

If they remove people's clothing during abductions, TinFoilHat should not pose much of an obstacle. Mobile carriers can triangulate people by their cell-phones so even if a StealthTinFoilHat was achieved the abductors could probably hack into the grid to find you that way anyway. How many people turn theirs off at night?

Breakthrough in Real Evidence for Alien Abductions

Proof of the alien abduction phenomenon was achieved in January, 2007, when it was demonstrated that people claiming to be abducted by aliens actually receive a microwave signal. The signal was obtained by taking voltage readings with a standard multimeter from Velostat, the shielding material comprising a thought screen helmet and from the material itself. The material, called Velostat, is made by 3M.

This is the first time that standard electronic instruments showed that people claiming to be abducted by aliens actually receive a microwave signal. The helmets are called Thought Screen Helmets by inventor Michael Menkin. The helmets scramble the signal thus stopping communication between aliens and humans, Menkin claims. He has been making helmets and sending them to people abducted by aliens for eight years.

This evidence is demonstrable proof of alien abduction activity and refutes both skeptics and ufo investigators who claim that alien abductions are paranormal or supernatural. Any abduction victim with Velostat and a multimeter can obtain a reading which indicates a signal is being sent to them, Menkin claims.

Thought screens were originated by science fiction writer E.E. Doc Smith. Michael Menkin invented real thought screens in 1999. After a year of testing different materials, Menkin found that hats containing Velostat did stop aliens from abducting humans.

These breakthrough tests were obtained by a man in the United Kingdom who measured current from a thought screen helmet and from a piece of Velostat while he was wearing another thought screen helmet. The man had a history of being abducted by aliens. No current could be obtained from the other materials which he tested. The test cannot be performed by people who are not abductees because they don't receive such a signal.

Using his own funds, Menkin has made and sent thought screen helmets to people all over the world for eight years. For photos of meter readings that indicate an alien signal see stopabductions.com. The site provides instructions for making successful thought screens. See Menkin's other site, aliensandchildren.org for information and other evidence of alien abductions.

For more information contact inventor Michael Menkin at mmenkin@hotmail.com.

The line "The man had a history of being abducted by aliens" is a stronger indictment of this piece's credibility than any I could make.

CategoryTinFoilHat, CategoryJoke, CategoryAbduction, by Jove!