Significant Other

Sappy term for spouse.

Spoken like a true single person.

It is a PoliticallyCorrect phrase intended to avoid insinuations about marital status or the sex of either partner. "Partner" would be a good alternative (if it didn't also mean "business partner").

I consider the term's purpose to be, not avoiding the offense of married/unmarried people, but avoiding the offense of singles. I suppose most people would say that's not its primary purpose. -- DanielKnapp

PartnerInLife? or LifePartner sounds better.

Except my wife will thump me if I introduce her in public as "My LifePartner"...

And both of them sound about as interesting as a slime mold. None of these terms are any FUN. Your girlfriend, boyfriend, sugar daddy, your main squeeze, your lover -- these are worth having. A life partner is someone who is suing you in a divorce.

I prefer the term DomesticPartner?. It avoids the business connotation and works for any sexual preference.

Whatever the term's failings, it addresses a need. Not so long ago, in most western cultures it was assumed if you were young (enough) you were single, if you were a bit older you were married (and probably had children) and anything else was a bit odd. These days, while there are still many who follow this pattern, it is a silly assumption. People may choose not to marry for many reasons, yet be in an equally committed relationship. Others fully intend to avoid such entanglements. This term is one of the attempts to have methods of referral and address that don't carry the baggage associated with such terms as 'spinster', etc.

In common usage, SignificantOther (SO) is a gender-neutral way of referring to a serious relationships that may or may not be a marriage. SO sounds less hackneyed (and non-gender-neutral) than POSSLQ (Partner of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters).

POSSLQ -> PASSLQ. Opposite -> Appropriate. Similarly with MOTOS -> MOTAS

It's a horrible term, anyway. "Partner" is much better, despite its ambiguity.

"Partner" is a less effective substitute, because of the ambiguity.

Here in the US it seems that "Partner" is generally used to refer to same sex relationships while SignificantOther refers to opposite sex relationships.

Interesting, since I'm in the US, and I have seen that SO is used to refer to the at-least-dating-but-not-committed-for-life person. Married hetero couples use wife/husband/spouse, and gay couples use life-partner for the other of the pair. SO seems to be a generic way to gloss over both the sex of the other person, and the details of the relationship. --Pete Hardie

Whatever happened to just saying boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, fiance? If there's more to it than that, can't people just explain it? There are reasons why we have language.

That is of course the best practice when you're speaking to friends. ("Of course?" If it were obvious, I suppose this page would be a fraction of its length. I think the reasons for it are obvious enough not to need further explanation though.) When you're speaking to business associates, you don't necessarily want to share that kind of detail - it can be appropriate, but it can also create awkward moments. As others on the page have noted, "SO" creates useful ambiguity. -- DanielKnapp

"SO" is useful when speaking generally about many people or about a hypothetical SO for a person whose gender preference is unknown. You can use this term if you think it's necessary. You can also use this term in spite of its silliness if you don't take yourself too seriously. In business settings gender preference should not be emphasized. In social settings sometimes you just don't know.

boyfriend and girlfriend sound too juvenile when you are over, say, 25.

So, manfriend and womanfriend. Or, adultfriend or specialfriend for when ambiguity is desired.

Mm-hmmm. Those sound... if anything, more juvenile. I've known more than one fifty-year-old couple who call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. I can't imagine anybody not wearing rainbow earrings and a tie-dyed shirt saying "womanfriend". Let alone "adultfriend". "Woman friend", with an audible gap, is okay, but is too specific - it's used to refer to a friendship, not a relationship. -- DNK

I suppose lady friend or gentleman friend are right out, then?

And there are reasons why people may wish to not have the sex of their partner come up for discussion. If you are standing at a gas station in the heart of rural southern Georgia (USA), letting J. Random Bystander know that you're gay is almost certain to engender a bad reaction, while mentioning your SO can spare you from pointed questions and non-negligible chance of harm.

I don't get it. In my experience, using ANY term that is vague on gender ALWAYS raises a red flag in J. Random Buford's head. If your goal is to completely avoid any kind of awkward conversational speedbump, while at the same time telling the complete truth, you're almost certainly doomed to fail. But YMMV, of course.

It will probably just make them think you're a silly New Yorker with some odd sayings - which is its intended purpose in that situation. The type that harasses other people for their sexuality tend not to be the swiftest linguists in the world.

You're dreaming. The ambiguous terms stand out like a sore thumb. They are the opposite of discrete.

The definitions as I understand them are:

Partner: depends on context; usually business partner but could also mean spouse. In the latter sense, it indicates that you're married (or the equivalent in places where same-sex marriages aren't legal), but doesn't reveal their gender.
Significant Other: boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse. Represents the important person in your life (hence the name) when you don't want to provide details of their sex or your actual relationship with them.

In both cases they are gender-neutral. The person listening may make their own assumptions, but you're not actually providing them with information you don't feel is relevant to the discussion. Use of either of these is not limited to either homosexual or heterosexual couples.

I don't like the term SO. It always makes me want to say, "I have no SO, my girl and I are statically linked".

Your SO could also be your PairProgramming partner.

Does SignificantOther imply cohabitation? Some of the text above implies that it does; however I've heard it used in many situations where the two persons were not living together. OTOH, the phrase "partner" used in this context, along with derivatives such as "domestic partner" and "life partner", do usually imply cohabitation. In many parts of the U.S., the phrase domestic partner has a precise legal meaning--someone which whom you live (of either sex), whom you are not married to, and with whom you have a committed and intimate relationship. In other words, someone you're shackin' up with.

My wife prefers the term LordAndMaster? be applied to her. :) (Just kidding, honey!)

Not SheWhoMustBeObeyed??

That works as well. Of course, she's not big on titles and ceremony... just as long as the dishes are done and the trash taken out.

You know, it is possible to just out-and-out lie when referring to one's own co-habitation arrangement. I've found it easier to refer to my SO as "my wife" rather than risking red flags and red tape.