Pointy Haired Boss Versus Extreme Programming

TestDrivenDevelopment - We pay you to write functions, not tests!
SimpleDesign - It took me weeks to draw this complete, detailed object model with Rose. If you won't type it in, I can find someone who will!
RefactorMercilessly - Don't change that it works!
ContinuousIntegration - All check-ins require my approval. You might check in a bug.
FrequentReleases - Does it have all the features I authorized the Marketing Department to sell yet, hmm?
CustomerAcceptanceTests? - Don't bother me with dumb questions - read the spec!
CommonStyleGuide? - I need to be able to tell who wrote what code at all times - don't try to hide it!
SystemMetaphor - Report to the company nurse immediately for a urine test.
PairProgramming - Can't you do your own job?
WholeTeam - This isn't a party - everyone back to their cubicles.
SustainablePace - Your colleagues are working late - why aren't you?
PlanningGame - Don't come back until all those requirements are coded. What do you mean which ones are important? They are all important!