Philosophical Silliness

from DiningPhilosophers

Then Nietzsche punches Aristotle [MrAristotle] in the face and it goes downhill from there....

The philosophers break the horns of the dilemma by eating with their hands.

The best solution is to let the philosophers starve. The world will be a better place without them.

The only things known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly Tin Weedle. He reasoned like this: you can't have more than one king, and tradition demands that there is no gap between kings, so when a king dies the succession must therefore pass to the heir instantaneously. Presumably, he said, there must be some elementary particles -- kingons, or possibly queons -- that do this job, but of course succession sometimes fails if, in mid-flight, they strike an anti-particle, or republicon. His ambitious plans to use his discovery to send messages, involving the careful torturing of a small king in order to modulate the signal, were never fully expanded because, at that point, the bar closed. -- (TerryPratchett, Mort)

"That's right," he said. "We're philosophers. We think, therefore we am." -- (TerryPratchett, Small Gods)

His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -- the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans -- and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, "You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink." -- We meet Dydactylos the philosopher (TerryPratchett, Small Gods)

"That's why it's always worth having a few philosophers around the place. One minute it's all Is Truth Beauty and Is Beauty Truth, and Does A Falling Tree in the Forest Make A Sound if There's No one There to Hear It, and then just when you think they're going to start dribbling one of 'em says, Incidentally, putting a thirty-foot parabolic reflector on a high place to shoot the rays of the sun at an enemy's ships would be a very interesting demonstration of optical principles." -- The many and varied advantages of philosophy (TerryPratchett, Small Gods)

ReneDescartes once lived for a few years in a small French village, where he became a regular patron of the village pub. One night Descartes walked in. "Rene! Mon vieux! What will you drink? The usual?" "No," Descartes replied, "I think not." and promptly vanished.

... and Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink therefore I am" -- MontyPython PhilosophersSong?