In honor of Simon Bond's classic book One Hundred and One Uses for a Dead Cat (ISBN 0517545160 ), WardsWiki brings you:
101 uses for black holes Only 14 uses have been suggested so far; which means there are 87 more to go.
- Perfect Toilet.
- But what if Hawking Radiation happens in chunks instead of gradual? Random [Bleep] balls appear.
- Then you call the roto-rooter guy, he comes and pumps out your black hole, and trucks it to who-knows-where. (Though one wonders how well that giant hose would work in the vacuum of space...)
- Perfect DisposalOfRadioactiveMaterial?.
- MassDestructionWeapon?. - indeed, a perfect WMD - it would destroy anyone who tried to use it.
- A real DevNull
- A very large lens
- As a DarkEmitter? (see DarkSuckers) (DoctorSeuss, in one of his children's books, features a device called a "flashdark"--which, as you can imagine, performs the opposite function of a flashlight)
- You can trap one in a wicker net with a candle:
- But that's not a use for a BlackHole' that's how you catch one...
- And, since when are BH's shiney?
- Put a door just outside the EventHorizon? saying "executive washroom". Tell the PointyHairedBoss that he's just been granted a new perk...
- Convenient place to find all your missing socks in one spot
- Repository for [undesirable] source code
- The ideal Suburban Extension to certain large cities.
- Ultimate status-symbol click-clack-ball desk toy
- Great golf-course hazard. "And here's Tiger's approach shot... he's got to be careful here; this shot will take him awfully close to the EventHorizon? of the BlackHole here at Pebble Beach--I'd suggest that he try and hit it to the edge of the green. He lines it up... looks good..." <ball disappears mid-flight> "Oh! It went straight into another universe, Bob! That's a one-stroke penalty; he'll have to hit a perfect approach on the next shot just to have a chance at making bogey!" <crowd groans; Woods curses under his breath>
- Hollywood movie plot device. Don't worry about getting the details right.
- Destination for unwanted chunks of refactored WikiWikiWeb pages (if you fear being labelled DeleteMad?).
- Make a very, very long rope. Wind it around a spool connected to a generator. Throw one end into a black hole. Voila! Electricity!
- Shouting match victory device. When somebody shouts "you suck!", pull out the black-hole, say "I sure do", and suck them in.
One Hundred And One Uses For Black Holes