Grammar
- LightBulbJoke := question answer;
- question := "How many " ROLE "s do you need to change a light bulb?";
- answer := NUMBER "." explanation;
- explanation := (FUNNYCLICHÉ)+;
Example
Set
- ROLE := "programmer"
- NUMBER := "None"
- FUNNYCLICHÉ := "It's a hardware problem."
giving
- How many programmers do you need to change a light bulb?
- None. It's a hardware problem.
- Accountants: How many do you want it to be?
- Psychotherapists: None. The lightbulb must want to change.
- Teamsters: Six. And they get two fifteen-minute breaks. You don't gotta problem with that, do ya?
- System testers: None. Open a critical bug report "the room is dark".
- MicroSoft executives: Zero. Add darkness to the specifications. And call it a feature?
- Celebrities: Thousands. Dozens to vote on which one gets to hold it, dozens more to rotate the socket, and the rest to applaud and comment on what everyone was wearing.
- Egomaniacs: One. He just holds it up and the world revolves around him.
- Philosophers: What is the meaning of change?
- Oregonians: One, but ninety-nine others applied for the job.
- Kennedies: All of them. One holds the bulb and the others drink until the room spins.
- Dyslexics: Many dyslexics how it does a bulb change to take light? or "too".
- Politicians: Just one but they'll need all their spin doctors to put a decent spin on the bulb.
- Union Organizers: With an organizing committee of 15, you can do anything.
- ThreeStarProgrammers: One, but after he's changed it, no-one will ever be able to change it again.
- Apple Programmers: Seven. One to change it and six to design the t-shirt.
- Communists: None. The bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
- Lesbian Feminists: Just one, and that's NOT FUNNY!
- Transsexuals: One, but you need letters from two electricians certifying that the bulb needs to change.
- $ETHNIC Grandmothers: "Oh, don't mind me... I'll just sit here in the dark."
- Surrealists: Two. One to hold the giraffe, and one to paint the machine tools a bright, festive color.
- Bush Administration Officials: None. There is nothing wrong with the lightbulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandesence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That lightbulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effort. Why do you hate freedom?
- WikiZens: 1001. 1 to first screw in the light bulb and 1000 to try to keep it there.
- Designers: Does it have to be a light bulb?
Alternative Grammar
- LightBulbJoke := question answer;
- question := "How many " ROLE "s do you need to screw in a light bulb?";
- answer := NUMBER "." explanation;
- explanation := (FUNNYCLICHÉ)+;
Example
Set
- ROLE := "programmer"
- NUMBER := "None"
- FUNNYCLICHÉ := "It's a hardware problem."
giving
- How many programmers do you need to screw in a light bulb?
- None. It's a hardware problem.
[NB: These usually requires a specific phrasing of the question, not the
change one above. That's why they're so punny.]
- Flies: Two, but don't ask me how they got in there. My grandmother's favorite joke.
- Punk Rockers: None. Punk Rockers screw in vomit!
- Activists: I take offense to the term 'screw'.
- Republicans: 911.
Not necessarily funny, just that many light bulb jokes don't follow the canonical pattern.
GamerGeek?: For some reason, various forms of light bulb jokes were at one time inordinately popular among certain WorldOfDarkness? LARPers. The Lasombra and Cult of Ecstasy versions were particularly silly (the respective punchlines being "Who do you think shot the lights out in the first place?" and "With enough Correspondence, you can fit as many as you want to." If you don't get them, then you probably don't want to.)
This is likely because the LightBulbJoke has always been popular for showing the idiosyncrasies of a laundry list of groups. I've seen LightBulbJokes? applied to lists of nationalities, lists of universities, etc. The WorldOfDarkness? games are relevant in that each setting provides a laundry list of "factions" for the player to choose from, each with very specific features, making them good targets for the LightBulbJoke.
See: ProgrammerLightBulbJokes, WorstPunEver
CategoryJoke
Light Bulb Joke