One of the biggest problems on projects is when people don't know how to talk to each other. We can easily fall into the trap of developing a style that we don't think about and that has effects we do not see.
If you have any tips that have helped you alleviate this problem, please add them here for the communicationally-challenged of us.
Good Books
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- How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk ISBN 0380811960
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- How to Talk So Kids Can Learn: At Home and in School ISBN 0684824728
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- are two good books on how people can talk to each other. The techniques are supposedly to use on kids but they can work well for people in general (and especially people working on projects).
Ask Questions Style (a.k.a. the Socratic Method)
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- Instead of directly attacking people with your brilliant criticisms, ask leading questions so that people might come to understand the problem and any holes in their analysis. You may learn something. This strategy takes mature ego and patience.
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- Something interesting about this method: because you are asking questions, the other members of the conversation will have the oppertunity to fill in gaps that you might be missing.
"Reverse Socratic Method"
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- Instead of carefully leading others by asking questions, just give them your brilliant criticisms. This can coerce them to ask the questions and ultimately the conversations get to the interesting parts more directly. This much is more abrasive than the Socratic Method, so you'll have to consider their personality. Incidentally, this strategy makes you seem like you have an immature ego and are impatient. (Even when you're not sure that you are correct, this method can still work. See: BeWrongVisibly.)
I once stumbled upon a very old copy of "HowToWinFriendsAndInfluencePeople" by DaleCarnegie, albeit in the form of a pocket Dutch translation, it taught me that to be a good talker, you need to listen. If only to find the best place to connect what you are about to say, to what the person you talk to already knows. That and other tricks like getting your 'subject' into a yes-mood and stuff. -- StijnSanders
CategoryCommunication
How To Talk