How do you resolve an argument with another team member?
Do you talk to them?
Do you raise the issue to some common manager (who is over the both of you)?
Recently (March 2002) I was interviewed by a project lead who kept asking me what I would do in various situations where I had a (hypothetical) technical disagreement with another project member. I kept saying that I would talk with that person. And that I would only raise the issue to a common manager if I felt that the other person was being unreasonable *and* that the issue was of critical importance.
He said that he asked such questions often and that I'd be amazed at how quickly most people will appeal to management for a resolution -- and how often people take that as their *first* option!
[I probably will be amazed: I plan to start asking such questions when I do interviews. Probably this has something to do with the interview setting: in real life most programmers I've seen do not appeal to management easily. Maybe people believe this is the right answer. ]
My approach to conflict is that I should...
This seems appropriate for technical disagreements. For resolving conflicting priorities, however, the management chain is the right place to escalate things to -- PaulHudson
Only in the most extreme of conditions will I climb the management hierarchy
Absolutely. My last boss once asked the question "Why do you never ask me to resolve your problems with the management of the company?" Two answers (a) you're assuming I have problems? (b) don't you pay me to deal with that sort of thing anyway?
One guy's opinion:
Very good advice.
A note to the witness (the 2nd & 3rd person) -- try to observe rather than arguing. You don't want to "gang up" on the person you're talking to. The first person states his case and discusses it. The 3rd and 4th person should pretty much talk only when asked questions. (...or if needed to keep the whole thing from going "off the rails.")
See also HelpYourManager