Wouldnt Start From Here

A Scottish joke:

Visitor to a village stops a local and asks, "How do I get to Aberdeen from here?"

Local answers, "Och, if I were going to Aberdeen, I wouldn't start from here!"

Actually, the local would say, "I wouldna start from here", but I didn't think wouldnaStartFromHere would make it as a wiki name. I added this page because sometimes questions on wiki get answers like I WouldntStartFromHere.

Sometimes this is a good answer, as in "We are currently using a mix of UML, Shlaer-Mellor, Java, MFC, 20 analysts and 80 new programmers from 3 contract houses. How would use all this to deliver our large project in 14 months?" Answer: I WouldntStartFromHere. -- AlistairCockburn

My wife and I were driving through rural Ohio looking for her uncle's farm. We just could not seem to make sense out the directions. So we stopped at a gas station. We asked how to get to Athens. The gas attendant replied in a very solemn voice "you can't get there from here." My wife whose profession is communication was not deterred she asked "can you tell us how to get to some place were we could get to Athens?" The gas attendant gladly replied "sure! All you gatta do is go back down there..."

The moral of that story being that while it may not be obvious how to get to the goal directly you might be able to break it down into manageable steps if you ask the right questions. -- DonWells

Similarly stated as "YouCantGetThereFromHere" (farmer giving directions ... "Well, you go down that way about 5 miles, go over the bridge ... no, go down that other way about 3 miles and turn right at the yellow barn ... no, go up this way about a mile and turn left at the windmill ... no ... y'know, son, you can't get there from here."). -- GarryHamilton

Not particularly relevant to software perhaps, but I'm reminded of the following story (I'll look the reference up this weekend)...

A man is travelling through Ireland, and gets lost in the hills. Eventually he comes across a local, and decides to ask for directions.

Traveller: "How do I get to insert name of place?"

Local: "Well, you follow this road along until you get to a bridge over the small stream..."

Traveller: "OK"

Local: "Well, the turning you want is about half a mile before you get there on the right"

Maybe someone else can find a metaphor in this, I just find it amusing -- RogerLipscombe

"How do I get to well commented code?" - "Well, add a comment to every method." - "OK" - "Well, when you've done that, you've gone too far." -- FalkBruegmann

And don't forget to turn right where that big tree used to be. :-)

"To make money on the stock market, buy a share cheap, wait for the price to rise, then sell. If the price doesn't rise, don't buy it." -- DaveHarris

: Surely you mean "if it doesn't rise then don't have bought it."?