William Miller Rawls

Programmer of SliceAndDice?, a code generator written to automate the daily life of a programmer so that he (me) could go home sooner, write more in less time, have it be more consistent and yet require less effort to write, modify, and maintain.

William also has developed several styles of programming which follow the dictates of his own philosophies to approaching computer programming. William is passionate about programming and feels that programmers should approach their trade as more than just computer science but as an artist or martial artist would approach their trades.

Calling programming a martial form or art may seem odd. We have no canvas and we certainly gain no muscle other than in our hands. But all three use their hands as their life's focal point of expression. We don't talk much about what we do, and more importantly we don't typically bother to talk about HOW we do what we do.

William's philosophies have successfully increased his level of productivity first to a super human level (he could generate entire n-tier business objects in a few days), then to levels that could not be understood anticipating needs for his systems 6 months before they were needed and delivering systems that demonstrated significant knowledge, connectivity, and control unerringly close to desired (instead of expressed) effect with an absolutely creepy way of somehow already having in its database requirements delivered months after gathering the data.

Then William started talking about how he managed to do all this unbelievable stuff and no-one understood him. He had crafted his own vocabulary and metaphors to guide the other interested programmers to where he was, yet without exception, everyone thought it was the programmer and not the approach.

So William slowly and inexorably was given tasks with unrealistic timelines, the problems no-one else could figure out, and/or the projects "too hard" for everyone else to figure out.

He would always beat the deadlines, solve the problems, and create the difficult systems in record times and usually would again write the principles governing the designs into the code.

And no-one listened when he said that he could take on no more work. They laughed and said he could do it in a couple hours, which was true had it not been for the other things already left undone. His task list grew and grew until he realized he would never catch up and he slowly slipped into quiet despair.

The programmers he requested never arrived. And all his logic could not convince them that though he may be a good programmer, he was still just one man. No amount of effort could derail them from the belief that because he could do anything with programming, he must be able to do everything all at once.

And so the programmer decided to try to work his frustration and stress away with life in the big city he lived close to (Dallas). But then the big storm hit. And as his time to move came up, he found he had to now create a completely new system in 2 days or less... but the move was 3 days away. "No problem for you" says the boss "You can do anything". And didn't hear the part that he had to move everything he owned in 3 days... Including his computer.

He made the move, he created the system, and the bosses loved it. But then they wanted more and so William slaved night and day to turn the data system into something he really didn't do so good, good-looking highly available web site with complicated data engine connecting 10 different disparate systems that all wanted to drive William crazy with their insane data feed requirements, each more crazy than the last...

William suddenly found himself unable to think straight and went into a spiral that lasted until this day (11/5/2004). And William must now try to explain to the bosses where he went for 3 months. The bosses were really very good people but now William wonders what they will say when William says they have to change their policy. William wonders if they'll even let him speak and if they do if William will be rational or keep talking in his own way that has now alienated all of William's friends.

Man... Sucks to be William... Still... William has his philosophies to help him cope, and a therapist to help him with the stuff his philosophies suck at, and maybe his friends will come back.

William wonders what he should do with the new philosophy and new system design he came up with while recovering. Inspire awe and fear through all who come to know me at work by creating it? Or simply forget it ever even occurred to himself because he has come to the point where he hates being alone and finally realizes that no-one understands him and they're just not willing to tell him.

What's the use having the secret to unlocking the door that leads to being a supremely productive programmer if no-one will ask, listen, or who has the commitment or drive to do so. More pointedly, why did I even bother in the first place? Guess I thought there would one day be others who would want to know. Guess I thought there'd be something more than just a pile of paper (money). Guess I'll never write that book since no-one would understand or even bother trying. Guess I picked the wrong path to waking up. Guess I need to think of something to put into my life other than programming and programming's philosophy.

No wonder I'm alone. I'm perceived as a jibbering fool. Guess I have to remember that tomorrow.

I welcome anyone's thoughts on what I should do. One guy simply said "learn to have fun", many say I overanalyze. I don't want to be alone at or outside of work, yet I don't know how not to be. I don't want to drive people away from me with my thoughts on life, programming, and the universe yet I really feel I have something to share.

What's a William to do?

Hey, you're not a jibbering fool. You are a gifted being who has honed his craft. The only legacy you will leave in this world is to be an example - most physical matter is not appreciated nor understood until it's demise is contemplated anyway. So, take heart my friend. Take the joy of this forum to your core and relish in knowing you are NOT alone on this journey and there ARE other beings who can and will understand you if you learn to 'slow down in order to speed up'.

I too have chosen to learn these languages which appear to be magic to the layman. It is loneliness which brought me to this knowing; I have but very few friends and even they don't understand me very well.

Keep writing my sweet William...

"My stream flows down to a tiny thread; barely perceptible in the virtual world." --ColleenPridemore

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