What Happened At Roswell
What Happened At RoswellAnswer: Saucer was running WindowsVista.
One of the supposedly InterestingQuestions. WhatHappenedAtRoswell? Here's an explanation from KenHappel, formerly of OmnigonInternational, who claimed to have been there as a child:
The US Government experimented with various airfoil designs, including a ceramic frisbee shape, launched with great slingshots. When too many details of these experiments leaked out, the government prepared a smokescreen.
They pretended to leak documents claiming they found aliens in UFOs. Then they pretended to cover up these leaks.
The result: Thousands of believers in the Cult of the UFO now generate so much noise, the Ruskies cannot get any clear signal on our actual experiments.
Ken claims that, to this day, nobody has "asked the right questions" about the experiments.
Here's more of the Official Smokescreen..
WernherVonBraun and his fellow RocketScientist's were Nazis. They did things the Nazi way. Now what they were working on were great big missiles; America got its ICBMs by capturing these guys and continuing their work at a top-secret base within rocket-range of Roswell, NM.
So the big problem these guys had was telemetry. They had the rocket science down pat, a bunch of combustible stuff and a nozzle. But to record what happened in flight and relay it to a ground station was tough. You couldn't fit ENIAC in any space smaller than a three story office block. You certainly couldn't get any reasonable computing device into the nose-cone of a rocket.
So how did they do it? They used human observers. The expendable kind, straight out of concentration camps. Tiny pale bodies, big sunken eyes, shaved heads ... get the picture? Aliens. The big secret, the one the X-Files hints at but never reveals, is that when Von Braun and his friends swapped continents there still wasn't any computer that'd fit in a nose cone. So they just kept doing it the same way. And that strange language the Roswell sheriff saw marked on all those little dials and knobs? It was hebrew ...
You do know that "The X Files" is just a TV/Movie franchise, right?
Uh, yeah. But for the straight dope on Roswell, check out http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_052.html (and Roswell - Inconvenient Facts and the Will to Believe (ISBN 1573928941 )).
We note with wry amusement how you earthlings created the "UFO" concept around the same time as your war departments went crazy secretly flight-testing various funky designs for airplanes. -- a Passing Alien
You've never observed the historical record then. UFO sightings, and even crop circles, go back to before recorded times. However, they've mostly been recorded as religious events, thus resulting in a quagmire of myth and UFO observation so dense that modern scholars (ufologists and theologians alike) cannot tell the two apart.
Ever played with a laser pointer and a cat? The cat chases the evil little dot all around, trying desperately to catch it. My theory is that the aliens have something that works like a laser pointer, but projects what appears to us as 3-D objects. They just love the fun of watching the cute humans chase after the dots!
So if your MilitaryIndustrialComplex were pointing the laser pointer, and the cat were your public, and the MIC feigned a coverup to let the public think the lased point were a UFO, then the MIC could make the cat chase the UFO and lead it about by the nose; away from the real secrets the MIC keeps. What a dreadfully simple, self-sustaining plot. The public will then drone on and on about the UFO concept, keeping the real coverup alive for the MIC with no further expense, and hardly any risk, on their part. -- a Passing Alien
Apollo 14 astronaut Edger Mitchell claims he's heard many first-hand accounts of UFO gov't coverup processes. Odd stuff.
...Which is proof that being a zagnut is no obstacle to becoming an astronaut.
He otherwise seems a strait-laced person.
"We've been visited on this planet and the UFO phenomena are real. It's been well covered up by all our governments for the last 60 years or so, but slowly it's leaked out and some of us have been privileged to have been briefed on some of it."
Translation: As famous authority figures, some astronauts have been chosen to unwittingly participate in the smokescreen - helping obscure our government's evil experiments...
As I interpret it, Mitchell does not claim he was personally briefed, but instead has allegedly met multiple others on the "inside" that have, and they have allegedly been told to keep quiet. The indirect implication is that they confide in him because he is a "space celebrity". (Perhaps other astronauts were also, in this view, but they kept the silence.)
If there were "real" UFO's popping into and out of our reality from say a 4D universe, worm-holes, or cloaking devices; how would the observations and reporting differ from what the existing UFO documentation shows? In other words how would the real deal differ from what we get now?
See GravitysRainbow -- MichaelWolz, CarlSagansBaloneyDetectionKit, FermiParadox
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