Stupid Collaboration Kickoff Meeting

Define Boss2 = boss's boss, Boss3 = boss's boss's boss.

Context:

The big cheese has correctly noted that different parts of the organization compete with one another (feudal system).
Groups X and Y are from disparate parts of the organization.
The missions of X and Y have extremely little to do with each other, but when viewed through management goggles from a high altitude they appear similarly blurry.

Forces:

Boss3s just want to show that they did something.
Boss2s just want to make sure that the money keeps flowing.
Bosses just want to make sure that nobody derails their projects with irrelevant mandates.

Supposed solution:

Big cheese decrees that there shall be more collaboration.
Boss3s tell Boss2s to make it so.
Boss2s schedule a meeting where the commonalities between X and Y will be identified and a roadmap for continued collaboration will be drawn up.

Meeting agenda:

Words of introduction by boss. Words like "synergy" and "teamwork."
Group X gives a presentation: "This is what we are doing. See Figure 1."
Group Y gives a presentation: "This is what we are doing. See Figure 1."
Members of group X and group Y talk past each other for a while.
Boss identifies words that were used at some point by members of both groups and puts them on a roadmap.
Everyone says "Yea verily."
Adjourn.

Resulting context:

Group members write it off as another time-wasting management runaround and return to business as usual.
Boss gives roadmap to Boss2 and begins ignoring it immediately.
Boss2s report that collaboration is well and truly underway.
Boss3s congratulate big cheese on fine leadership.

Real solution:

: If your organization competes with itself, you need to RefactorYourOrganization.
: If group X and group Y were managed to what they produce, and could actually use each other's results, they'd be inclined to horse trade. Boss3s job is making that possible, not mandating that it be done.

Sometimes having groups compete within an organization is good. Rarely if ever in software development, though.