Remembered While Living

Permit me a moment of mawkishness.

I've just read through the JohnVlissides page.

I never met the man. I never read his work. I never attended any function with him.

Nonetheless, reading the comments of those who did know him, I find myself saddened by his loss.

I have, in my time, worked with some great men -- men whose lives will likely never achieve any fame or notoriety. Men who, in fact, would prefer not to have any part of fame.

Wally comes to mind. I met him when he was in his 50s and I was in my 30s. I wonder if he is still alive. An amazing man, kind and understanding, strong and persuasive, intelligent and perceptive, and possessed of a wisdom I might only hope to attain. I watched as he -- before my eyes -- changed the lives of dozens, even hundreds, of men and women. Just by being who he was, saying what he knew, offering hope and confidence to the lives of those around him. Wally. A hot-tempered, impulsive, brawling kid in his youth. A kid who had a "real problem with authority" and would, more than once, find himself standing defiant before superiors (like the day he punched the bosun). Mine was one of the lives Wally changed. When he's done here, there will be no monument, just the ripples through humanity left by his touch.

So why am I telling you about Wally? Because, too often, what is great about the great people in our lives is often only shared after they're gone.

I read about JohnVlissides, and know at once the value in this man and his work. But it will be hard to ask him questions about it now.

I know the reluctance of people to share their thoughts and feelings about the living -- even those who have already left indelible footprints in the lives of those with whom they've walked. I know the resistance to "HeroWorship?" and the feeling that praising someone while they're alive might somehow corrupt or cheapen them or the perception of them.

Knowing this, I am still inclined to suggest that perhaps waiting until someone is gone to express our admiration, or at least appreciation, for their work or for their insight and clarity -- such waiting is folly.

The JohnVlissides page contains nothing that could be interpreted as worship. Instead, I find myself able to imagine the man as a man beyond the capacity of any reading of his work. That's pretty real stuff.

Now, it's true that if I were to stumble upon such a page about myself I'd be embarrassed beyond words. Nonetheless, I feel that if a man, through his life and his works, touches and improves the lives of others, he needs to brace himself for the recognition and admiration that will come his way, and have the grace to permit it.

Yeah, if I found myself with a following of admirers I would be uncomfortable and unsure how to handle it. I would hope, however, that if I learned anything at all from Wally, it would be how to accept it without needing it.

So let me ask this: knowing that most of us recoil from what we see as "deification" or "worship" of those among us whom circumstance or destiny has saddled with greatness of deed or example, must we await their passing before we speak of their value to us?

It could be that I alone came to this profession in such a way that I only learned of men like Dijkstra, Knuth, and so on only after years at the keyboard. Or maybe there are others whose trek through the wilderness of fads and false wisdom would be smoothed by some glimpse of the knowledge hard-won by these pioneers.

Are there not those of our acquaintance who should be RememberedWhileLiving?

I'd rather have the chance to share a moment with living wisdom than grope for it after the living example has gone.

I am glad I had the opportunity to meet JohnVlissides through those of you who knew him. Thank you all for that.

-- GarryHamilton