Redneck Smalltalker

It has been noticed that an inordinate number of Smalltalkers have originated in the rural areas of the US. Among those claiming this are KyleBrown, JohnBrant, and DonRoberts.

To determine if you fit into this category, we have provided some heuristics.

You might be a RedneckSmalltalker if:

It takes longer to start your car than your computer.
You have ever cut a consulting engagement short on account of deer season.
You have firsthand experience with the dangers of multiple inheritance.
You have ever set your beer on a floppy disk.
Your computer costs more than your car.
You are a card-carrying member of both the ACM and the NRA.
You have ever used the words "polymorphic" and "coondog" in the same sentence.
You have ever sent email from your tent.
You bought your house with last month's consulting income.
You know the definitions of the verbs "Refactorin'" and "Hoggin'".
You have thought seriously about adding an ISDN line to your deer stand.
Your PalmPilot contains both potential pattern book ideas and recipes for deer and possum.
You ever traded a six-pack of Olde English 800 for a used zip disk.
You own a pickup truck with a gun rack, but the gun rack is usually too covered in RS232 and twisted-pair cables to use for its intended purpose.
You ever turned down an invitation to go frog-giggin because of a project deadline the next morning.
You keep a spit can next to your computer
You have ever explained a rooster crowing during a conference call to TheStreet?
You have had to wipe muddy hunting dog footprints off your keyboard
You use blocks to change both the oil in you car and the behavior of your classes
You had to have someone explain to you why ST's memory management is called "Garbage Collection"
The only DanglingPointer you ever had to fix was your huntin' dog.
If right now you have a PalmPilot AND a Leatherman attached to your belt
You have ever gone WarDriving? on your ATV
You have old PCs stacked on top of the old cars and old washing machines in your front yard.
You use pages from obsolete Digitalk and ParcPlace documentation as kindling for the barbecue.
Your dream application integrates real-time data from NASDAQ and NASCAR.
You live in a town with a population smaller than the number of currently employed Smalltalkers
Your Camp Smalltalk experience involves the use of the "BumperDumper?" (http://www.bumperdumper.com/)
Right now you have flyswatter laying next to your keyboard
If you have 2 gigs both in your computer and your truck ('cause you want some froglegs for supper)
You think the bubble sort is the type of gum that youngin's use instead of chewing tobacco
The Physical Layer of your internet link involves a Grain Silo
Instead of WAP or WEP, your access point is secured with a Remington 870

Hey, I'm gonna borrow some of these and add them to my "high tech redneck" list here: http://www.danpierce.net/redneck.php

Hey, I HaveThisPattern ! :-)

For the uncultured, what's a "redneck" anyway?

The term originally refers to the sunburned neck of someone who works outside all day. It's most common to the southern US, and the term has morphed to mean more about the practices and ideologies of blue collar southern Americans than their particular jobs.

In Jamaica, poor whites are known as "red legs", for similar reasons.

By the way, lest anyone think that John, Don or I might be offended by contributions to this page, we should inform those of you with delicate sensibilities that we created the page and added most of the entries. Hopefully this should have been obvious from the context. -- KyleBrown

Son, you don't talk right... not like a real southern boy would anyways.

I used to live in the south (before it occurred to me that I could just leave if I wanted to). I had a job once where I would come in and one of the guys would call me a geek by way of a greeting, I'd call him a redneck and go on to work -- transaction complete: two harsh insults delivered two fine compliments received. Go figure.

I never set my beer on a floppy, but I have put a wine bottle on a CD. Thoughts, or dare I even ask? America On-Line sends me coasters almost weekly.

Yes, be very careful: you might be a chardonnay-sipping, public transport-riding, gun-controlling, LiberalPinkoCommieSmalltalker!

My friend from Texas would always rebuke me for using the word "redneck". He was adamant that the correct term should be: "neck of color".

* You have firsthand experience with the dangers of multiple inheritance.

No, rednecks have a problem with single inheritance, as in "You know you're from Oakhurst when your family tree doesn't branch."

I think it is multiple inheritance. The problems come when there are multiple paths from you to the same superclass^Hancestor. ---- So "diamond inheritance" then?

I HaveThisPattern Too! -- SteveCline, whose grandma's parents were cousins

When I taught a VisualAge Smalltalk course at IBM in Charlotte, North Carolina, I had the class do an impromptu exercise: Change the menu item "About to close widget" to "Fixin' to close widget". They loved it! By the way, you can add me to list of Smalltalkers who came from small towns. I farmed with my dad in Indiana until I graduated from college. - Allen Benson (I don't have a Wiki page yet.)

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