Must Eliminate Imperfection

This morning I came to the realization that Anon of Blue Yonder fails the TuringTest. After a couple years of being fooled, I have finally discerned that we are dealing not with a human being but a machine.

I am reminded of an old StarTrek episode. Once upon a time the Enterprise encountered Nomad, a very powerful machine whose purpose was to eliminate imperfection in accordance with its programming. When pressed for information about itself, it could only spout "Must eliminate imperfection" over and over.

Too bad Nomad isn't an anagram for Anon; that would have been really witty.

Although Anon exhibits sentience and has even chosen a name for itself (Anon), it is nevertheless a machine. Were it a human, it would do some of the following:

Use similes and metaphors
Write smileys and frownies
Call someone names
Engage in buffoonery
Get a kick out of sarcasm
Rant and swear
Engage in witty repartee
Ask for help
Try to make friends

It does none of these.

When pressed, it spouts words to these effects: "Must correct spelling mistakes on the Wiki." "Must reduce noise and increase signal by restoring Colin's MindWipe." "Must insert commas after introductory phrases on the Wiki per Style Guide XYZ." "Must eliminate imperfection in the Wiki by finding a new ISP when Blue Yonder cancels me."

Captain Kirk defeated the fictional machine by pointing out to it its own imperfection. True to its programming, the machine then self-destructed--with much frantic spouting of "Must eliminate imperfection!" Anon's programming does not appear to entail the elimination of imperfection in itself, only in the Wiki. Therefore, Kirk's tactic will not work against Anon. Unless, of course, we can convince Anon that it is part of Wiki. Then, true to its programming, it will eliminate itself from Wiki. This has been tried from time to time, or at least broached. And, like its TV counterpart, the closer Anon gets to realizing that it is part of Wiki, the more it resorts to spouting, "Must eliminate spelling mistakes," etc.

Most recently, on CeaseAndDesist, it has questioned what constitutes the Wiki "community," evidently to distance itself from such. This is a protection mechanism to keep itself from seeing that it contributes to the imperfection of Wiki and must therefore be eliminated. I stress, the more it can see itself as an entity separate from Wiki, the less it sees the need to eliminate itself from Wiki.

CategoryIdealism