Lord Of The Rings Part Two

The second film installment of LordOfTheRings, the first being LordOfTheRingsPartOne.

This astounding film creates depths that were not explicit in Tolkien's book. The pathos of Smeagol, the inhuman nobility and grace of the elves, the purity of Sam, and the Ring's torturous seduction of Frodo, all to which Tolkien only alluded achieves clear focus. The effects that were artful in the first movie are now practiced and seamless. The brutality of 10,000 Uruk-Hai at Helm's Deep, the gliding miscegenation [What? The word miscegenation means race-mixing!] of Nazgul over Gondor, and most of all Gollum's manic animus - all are so perfectly realized that the mind can not question their solid reality. The movie may have some small weaknesses - see LordOfTheRingsPartTwoCriticisms - but in all it's far better than we could ever have expected - and probably better than we deserve.

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And the extended edition is even better!

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Miscegenation of the Nazgul over Gondor? I must have missed that -- the only cross-breeding I saw in the movie was of the Uruk-Hai.

You forget the part where the Nazgul are flying over Gondor, having sex with beings of different races as Frodo and Sam cower below, occasionally sneaking a peek at the sexier moments. (It got cut from the version released to theaters.) Needless to say, the Nine do not use protection, so pregnancy is likely. Best line of dialogue, from the Witch-King of Angmar: "I've always wanted to do it with a Balrog!"

• Don't you remember the part where the Ringwraith named Strom Thurmond sires a half Harâdrim child? Or the part where Frodo heartily celebrates his victory over Sauron in a seedy section of a fishing village in Khand? Geez, you people need to read Unfinished Tales. -- TheerasakPhotha

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Now you know why Rohan is now full of dark-skinned children who bear the TheerasakPhotha Seal of Quality. And Valinor as well, I can go whereever I want -- TheerasakPhotha