Insure The Planet

You want to PutTheCarbonBack? Fine, start putting sticks of dynamite underneath SUVs.

That will merely get you arrested, and the cause will be further marginalised and associated with fringe elements and granola-munching hippies, leaving the vast bulk of carbon-spouting vehicles to remain unmolested. The solution is this: Everyone must buy as many SUVs and gas-hogging big-engined sports cars as they can afford and drive them gratuitously. Your first trip in your new Sports 4x4 with its 10 cylinder, 7 litre engine should be to the local landfill to dump your bicycle. Thereafter, be sure to idle frequently and continuously, accelerate rapidly, take lots and lots of short, pointless trips and spew hydrocarbons whenever possible.

Yes, in the short term this will increase the problem, but it is only by creating an unavoidably clear, unambiguous, and (most importantly) profit-affecting in-your-face non-hypothetical real-world problem that those who actually have the power to implement solutions will notice that something is wrong and do something about it. A few dead frogs and molluscs won't cut it. We need massive dysfunction that hurts the right folks in the right place -- their wallets. When the planetary bigwigs see their profits melting away in the heat of global warming, then we'll see some action.

Personally, I'm going to do my part by spending the afternoon ripping about, destinationless, in one of my big piggy sports cars. Then I think I'll burn some tires in the back yard. As for putting carbon back into the ground, I've got an idea: Change the oil in your cars (yes, cars plural -- if you don't have more than one, you obviously don't really care about the planet, you heartless bastard) and pour the drainings down the sewer.

Furthermore, turn up the heat, turn on some lights, and run them appliances! Activism only works properly when you're warm (maybe even overheated, if you can stand it), well-lit, and your clothes are cleaned, pressed, and dry. So let's not miss any opportunity to foul up the environment in ways that the powers-that-be cannot ignore! If we all commit to this, we can make a difference.

I'm pretty sure that Earth First did more to get environmentalism on the map than the Sierra Club. So even though I originally meant it as a joke, blowing up SUVs is probably the best political statement one can make.

As for profit affecting massive dysfunctions, the insurance industry is already a big believer in global warming and it's powerful enough to do something about it.

"It became necessary to destroy the village in order to save it."