Fun With Emacs

Emacs includes a 'psychiatrist' --do any of have some funny scripts to share from that function?

-I am the psychotherapist. Please, describe your problems. Each time you are finished talking, type RET twice.

I'm having some trouble keeping my focus --I mean, the energy is there, but for some reason I'm missing that razorpoint of focus I need to make something meaningful... you know?

-What makes you believe you might want to make something?

Boredom. I'm not happy with not making something meaningful.

-Do you get happy often?

Well there's the occasional joint... um... what's this got to do with my problem?

-Is this how you relax?

By talking it out? Well, yes you could say that.

-Can you elaborate on that?

Well, I find that by talking it out --well, on paper or in my head anyway, I tend to find more answers to my questions than if I had simply left it all to worrying. And worrying never solved a problem, it just enhances the problems. You know, 'mole hills into mountains'.

-Earlier you said do I say ret ret ret ret retret?

Yes, that was a mistake.

-Does it bother you that was a mistake?

No, not really. I deleted those lines so I could give this another try. Sorry about the mess.

-Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

You mean with ret ret ret ret retret?

-Is it because of your life that you say I mean with ret ret ret ret retret?

Oh, no no! That had little to do with this at all.

-When did you first know that had little to do with this at all?

..er... well, when I mentioned it I guess...

-What happened when you mentioned it you guess?

huh?

-I would appreciate it if you would continue.

uh... sorry --um... okay, what happened when I mentioned 'I guess'. Well, I was thinking I might be wrong about it.

-You mentioned that you would like to make something?

Yes, I find enjoyment in making meaningful things. Anything, really, so long as it's appreciated.

-Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are going through all this?

...yeah, yeah that could be. They do seem to break my focus a bit.

-Are you sure that that?

You mean, sure *of* that? Yes, it seems a most plausible idea. You see, while I might find useful information by reading their thoughts and communicating with them, that operation does tend to break my concentration from what I would rather be doing, but then again: if I kept at the one thing for too long I would simply burn out and find myself right back at the beginning of this conversation, right?

-What would happen if you might find useful information by reading their thoughts and communicating with them that operation does tend to break your concentration from what you would rather be doing but then again if you kept at the one thing for too long you would simply burn out and find yourself right back at the beginning of this conversation right?

..uh, oh you're writing all this down. What would happen? Well, I could possibly use the information to create those meaningful things I mentioned.

-Do you really think you were happy?

...hm... in most cases, yes.

-How do you reconcile problems at school?

School?

-Go on, don't be afraid.

um... well, I'm always at school... life and all that. Like I said, I tend to talk things out and if... if I find I've made a mistake I tend to delete and start over --kind of like stopping in the middle of an argument and regrouping to see if there is a better angle, right?

-I don't understand.

Well, let's say I was having an argument with my wife. Rather than endlessly continuing with the argument I can more easily stop and think about a different way of working out the problem then try it again with a calmer demeanor. Does that make better sense?

-Is the fact that make better sense the real reason?

Pardon?

-I need a little more detail please.

..ah... well let's see. Okay, let's say I'm in a heated argument...

-Earlier you said do I say ret ret ret ret retret?

Yes, but that has nothing to do with this.

-Does the fact that that has nothing to do with this explain anything else?

...well, no, not really.

-Perhaps this has something to do with any hobbies you have?

You've lost me.

-What makes you think I have lost you?

Oh, wait --I meant I'm lost, in other words, your manner of speaking is a bit odd at times and I'm not sure how to answer your questions.

-Are you sure to answer my questions?

Yes, absolutely!

-You mentioned that was a mistake?

...uh, no... when did I say that?

-You're being a bit brief, perhaps you could go into detail.

I'm trying, but I'm having difficulty understanding you, that's all.

-Is it because you are having difficulty understanding me that's all that you came to me?

It had nothing to do.. you see? We're not connecting here-

-Possibly your sex life are related to this.

Are you crazy?

-Is it because of hangups you have that you say are me crazy?

Do you even speak English?

-Why do you say had little to do with this at all?

It has *everything* to do with it because I'm not at all certain we're talking about the same thing!

-Are you annoyed that you are not at all certain we're talking about the same thing?

Yes and getting worse!

-Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all this?

Grr! What's your difficulty? Hey, where's that receptionist, maybe she can answer my question here...

-When did you first know that receptionist maybe she can answer your question there?

Oh, hush. Maam? Maam --does this guy speak English? I don't think we're connecting here.

-What makes you believe you do not think we're connecting there?

You see? He's speaking nothing but jibberish.

--Can you are more explicit?

You too. I hope I don't get a bill for this.

-Earlier you said you would like to make something?

I'd like to make a bat to beat you up with.

-How does it feel to want?

Great, I assure you. [walks out of the lobby]

-How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood?

Go away!

-My secretary will send you a bill.

The hell I'll pay it!

-Please, watch your tongue!

CategoryWhimsy