Finagles Variable Constant

Rules of experimental procedure:

1. A record of data is useful. It indicates that you have been busy.
2. To study a subject, first understand it thoroughly.
3. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
4. Draw your curves then plot your data.
5. Do not believe in luck. Rely on it.
6. Always leave room when writing a report to add an explanation if it doesn't work (the rule of the-way-out).

One of the more recent developments in the field of interpretation of experimental data is the Diddle Coefficient, which expands the usefulness of the well known Finagle Constant and the subtle Bougerre Factor. These items are largely grouped, in mathematics, as "Constant Variables" or, as some workers prefer, "Variable Constants."

The derivation of these useful concepts is as follows:

Finagle's Constant:

• Change the universe to fit the equation.
• Finagle's constant is used as a multiplier of the zero order term.

Dr. Finagle was a German by the name of Von Nagle who moved to Ireland where his associates misunderstood the pronunciation of his name. The main body of these laws was formulated during the time Finagle was trying to prove his fundamental discovery that if a string has one end, it has another.

The Bougerre Factor:

• Change the equation to fit the universe.

The Bougerre factor is named after Bougerre, a French professor of mathematics. The more common designation, due to language difficulty, is "buggers".

The Diddle Coefficient:

1. Change things so that the equation and the universe appear to fit without requiring any change in either.

An example of the usage of the Finagle Constant is the introduction of the planet Uranus. Since Newtonian laws did not coincide with the observed universe, the planet was introduced into the universe to make the universe fit the equations. The planet was first observed much later.

Lifted from http://www.eecis.udel.edu/~mader/delta/deltoidslist/1998-06/msg00121.html with some editing.

[Note that astrophysics doesn't "make the universe fit the equations," it predicts the presense of bodies that have not been discovered through direct observation yet. This is how astrophyisicists have been able to accurately predict the presense of planets around some stars. These planets' presense has been verified through other observational means. So poo-poo on you, too. <sticking tongue out>]

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CategoryJargon, CategoryWhimsy