Extreme Xmas

The holiday season (which currently runs from Labor Day through the first weekend of January) is intended to be a time of peace, joy, and good fellowship. In practice, though, it is too often a time of stress, excess, and manic activity.

ExtremeXmas (XX) is a pattern language to help manage the holiday parties, for both host and guest. Below are brief descriptions of the XX patterns:

• Stand Up Feeding: Afraid your guests will never leave? Hide your chairs.

• Hair Programming: Getting a permanent or a short, simple cut before the holidays can save a lot of valuable preparation time.

• Unit Fests: Avoid mixing social friends with co-workers. Have separate, smaller parties for each.

• Contractor Mercilessly: Consider hiring a caterer for your party, a decorator for your home, a shopper for your business gifts. It's money well spent if it's the only way to stay sane.

• Do The Simplest Thing You Can't Possibly Shirk: Beware of agreeing to help with the office party. Never sign up to bring the turkey when they still need more paper plates.

• You Aren't Gonna Knead It: Home-made stoellen? Fruitcake from Grandma's old recipe? Get serious! Don't exhaust yourself baking seasonal treats at home; buy them at a good local bakery.

• Ounce And Only Once: A hangover may be a badge of honor for a college student, but everyone who isn't immortal should drink only in moderation. And use a light hand when flavoring that eggnog.

• Accuser Stories: Sure, gossip is fun, but is it really in keeping with the spirit of the season? Steer conversations to less prurient topics, and a better time will be had by all.

• The Tanning Game: Avoid the hassles altogether. Spend the holidays in the Caribbean.

Finally:

• They're Just Fools: Yes, everyone else is embarrassed by the behavior at their family get-togethers, too. Learn to let it go.