Desperate But Not Serious

Little did we know that Adam Ant sang about the travails of software consulting! This organizational antipattern describes groups or managers who urgently and loudly demand project completion by some arbitrary date, but remain unwilling to consider fundamental changes (to the organization, development approach, tools, etc) or even to listen to a realistic assessment of how much work remains and how fast the team can actually deliver.

The opening stanza of this song could have been lifted straight from a case study by Alistair, Kent, Martin, or Gerry:

"If I ask you difficult questions Or I make improper suggestions Would you find it a risk to your health Would you put me up on a bookshelf With the books And the plants"

If you've worked for a DesperateButNotSerious client or manager, share your story here that others might recognize the condition on their own projects. -- BillBarnett

I don't know whether I'm brave or foolish, but I guess somebody has to go first ...

The project was on time and under budget. The customer asked for more features. We came up with brilliant solutions that solved not only their new needs but some fundamental performance issues.

The project was still on time/under budget. A vendor discontinued a vital component and refused to let us a) buy the IP, b) make an end-of-life buy, or c) make copies of what we already had. We solved that (at minimal cost) and in the process improved the capabilities of our product's user interface.

Still OnTimeUnderBudget?. Customer throws us a curve ball, wants a feature that puts a dent in the basic design. We ask for more time. Can't have it. Ask for better tools. Can't have them. Ask for another body. Can't have that either.

Management now discovers that there are incentives for him if the project delivers early. Our deadline suddenly moves closer. We need more or better resources. At least let us borrow Sam from ProjectFoo?, which is winding down, since he is familiar with everything we need to do for completion. Sorry, that would impact the department budget.

We are admonished, though, that we need to take our customer's needs seriously. We need to show real commitment. Work as many hours as it takes to make this happen. Go team! Fight, team! Rah! Rah! Yaaaay, team!!

It began to look like we would miss the deadline. The manager is now getting desperate -- he has promised his wife a new boat/house/vacation/diamond/whatever, and won't get his bonus if we miss the target.

"What do you guys need from me to make this happen?"
"Well, we need a test lab and a guy to man it so we can focus on solving the implementation problems."
"Can't do that. No budget. Work harder."

But ... since he couldn't be here TwentyFourSeven? to watch us ''he got upper management to allocate another manager to "keep an eye on the crew" so we wouldn't overshoot our timeline!

Meanwhile, the two of us on the project had put our heads together and adopted a strategy to get done on time and still deliver quality. We have this new PHB-in-training walking the halls asking, "are we there yet?" while advising us of the evisceration that awaits those who fail the emperor.

We deliver OnTimeUnderBudget? and exceed customer expectations. Champagne. Boss can breathe now.

You'll be shocked to know that the boss got the bonus, the boss got the kudos, and was awarded the Brass Cross for dedication to duty above and beyond ... blah, blah, blah.

We (the two-man team) got to keep our jobs.

Epilogue:

Steve (we'll call him that, since that's his name) eventually did the same "successful" management process with another project whose (two-man) team was less resourceful and the failure was spectacular, to the point where the whole management structure was removed. I wasn't there to savor it. I had to learn about it from the team members themselves.

-- GarryHamilton

What a great story! I haven't laughed (and cried a bit, inside) so hard for a long time. I really like the concept of you guys being Serious (adopting your own strategies) under the radar. I also wonder whether there should be a special corollary to Brook's Law about the effect of adding extra managers late in a project. I've never come across that precise tactic. Too, too funny!

I have worked on a couple of projects over time where there was a distinct shift into Serious mode. After all the shouting and rah, rah, and claims that things can't be changed, there comes a point of epiphany for clients/managers who are paying attention. There is an almost audible "click" as you hear their mental models adjust to the fact that just saying something is so doesn't make it so. -- bb