Coffee Flavored Coffee

A remark by comedian Denis Leary about the annoying 90's trend of gourmet flavored coffees, highlighting the scarcity of regular, coffee-flavored coffee.

As opposed to, for instance, Maple... Nut... *CRUNCH*??!?!?

The phrase has come to mean plain, regular, no-frills, stop asking me stupid questions and just gimme the danged coffee! Whatever it is, I want it regular, and I want it now.

If you find yourself in StarBucks? and want a cup of good old-fashioned TruckStopCoffee?, ask for "Americano". That's what the barrista calls it. Of course, many other "European-style" coffee drinks, such as cappucinos, espressos, and even lattes, don't have any flavors in them other than coffee, sugar, and milk/cream.

Incorrect. Americano is espresso with water. CoffeeFlavoredCoffee is called - get this - coffee.

Try it Vietnamese style. It tastes more like coffee than coffee does. Any culture that makes coffee like that has to be good. The Vietnamese guy at the local restaurant has the caffeine addict attitude that one does not waste so much as a drop of the coffee, and he's right. If you don't have a Vietnamese restaurant handy and want to try it, pour a shot or two of good espresso over a teaspoon or two of sweetened condensed milk, stir until the milk dissolves and then pour that over ice. I usually add more whole milk to top it off, but that's not authentic. Tastes just as good, though. -- BruceIde

I second the recommendation to try Vietnamese Iced Coffee - it can't be beat. Try your local Asian market, however, to find the drip coffee maker (looks a little like a half size tin can and is gravity driven, less than US $3.00) and the condensed milk (not evaporated milk, this is about the color and consistency of Crisco, but oh so sweet).

VietnameseCoffee? is also good hot.

For a quicker fix, look for Thai Iced Coffee. It comes in premixed bottles (no tin can taste!) and you just need to pour it over ice and add a little milk. Again, try your local Asian market. -- WayneMack

Better yet, any Thai restaurant (as well as a few Asian restaurants of other persuasions) can make one for you. Or you can make it yourself. Basically, just strong coffee (espresso works fine; use a dark roast), cardamom (this spice gives it its unique flavor - best to buy the pods; add it to the grounds when you brew/extract the coffee), and condensed milk (heavy cream will also work).

Another good strong coffee is TurkishCoffee?. Yet another, similar to VietnameseCoffee?, is FrenchPressCoffee. Boiling water is added directly to the grounds, where it sits for a while while the good stuff is extracted. The FrenchPress? is then used to filter the grounds away, leaving you with rather strong and tasty coffee.

Of course, there's always CowboyCoffee? - where you leave the grounds mixed with the water and drink the whole thing. You can either spit out the grounds, or swallow them. Tastes terrible - but you get every last milligram of caffeine that way.

-- ScottJohnson

[[CowboyCoffee? (also known as SwedishCoffee?) - grounds in pan, add cold water, bring to boil/simmer, cook until grounds settle, pour (through strainer or filter if desired). When done correctly, a VERY smooth and potent coffee. -- GarryHamilton]]

And then there's ExtremeCoffee? - served fresh every morning, got to keep running the UnitTests you know. On the first day, you just dump an unspecified amount of coffee beans and water into the machine, and drink the result straight from the pot, i.e. DoTheSimplestThingThatCouldPossiblyWork. Roasting and grinding? YouArentGonnaNeedIt. Mugs? YAGNI.

Of course, it tastes awful and burns people's tongues, so you RefactorMercilessly, taking into account UserStorys about what coffee is supposed to taste like and how it is supposed to be served. Eventually, you figure out how to set up a TestHarness? that ensures everyone gets a cup right away, so the coffee is heated OnceAndOnlyOnce, and served daily at breakfast. Don't forget, ThereMustBeFood too.

I prefer WaterfallCoffee?. First you ask experts on what constitutes the perfect cup and document it. Then you pass your BigDesignUpFront to the local Barista who then makes the cup. Then you test (by tasting the coffee). It tastes horrible, but it's AnAcceptableWayOfFailing.

Later on, you can worry about energy efficiency of the coffee maker, or the possibility of making ExtremeTea?, but beware PrematureOptimization and PrematureGeneralization.

-- KarlKnechtel

Hmmmm. Wouldn't the Vietnamese method above be more fitting? Sounds like DoTheSimplestThingThatCouldPossiblyWork - put some coffee grind in a little metal filter and pour hot water through it into a mug. No coffee maker, no measuring, no fuss.

If we want simplicity, how about chocolate-covered coffee beans? No grinding, no water, no heating; just reach your hand into the bag and pop a handful into your mouth. Feed some to your 4 year old for hours of "fun" at bed time. That's simple, but it isn't coffee!

If your office doesn't have one of these, do yourselves a favor and get one:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00005LVWQ/104-2653094-9751105?v=glance

A couple of us bought one last December as a holiday present for the office. Damn, that's good coffee. -- MikeSmith

In case that link ever breaks, MikeSmith cites a "Saeco Vienna Superautomatica Espresso Coffee and Cappuccino Machine". Personally, I use one of these: http://www.flickr.com/photos/tags/bialetti/ Also see http://www.flickr.com/photos/tonx/sets/665876/ ("espresso pr0n"). -- TobyThain

CategoryFoodAndDrink