Bairs Law

Don't ask a question unless you want to hear the answer.

This law, initially formulated by Charles Bair, relates to the more famous but less clear "It's easier to say sorry than ask for permission".

The law's applicability is quite broad. Consider here some questions that shouldn't be asked unless you want to hear the answer:

Honey, do I look fat to you?
Can I go to the mall?
Boss, can we do ExtremeProgramming?
Do you want the last pork chop?
What did you buy me for my birthday?

Also related to, "Never detect for an error condition you can't handle." -- DaveHarris

CatchWhatYouCanHandle

Don't ever write anything in a memo that you wouldn't want to see on 60 Minutes.

Also: "Never issue an ultimatum unless you can live with either outcome." -- MichaelFeathers

Or, "Always have a BATNA (BestAlternativeToNegotiatedAgreement)."

This rule of thumb came up in a fairly good Paul Newman movie, _The Verdict_ as advice to a trial lawyer. I think it was expressed in the movie as "Don't ask a question you don't already know the answer to," regarding questioning a witness on the stand.

-PatrickLogan

A public defender I know disregarded that advice, to good effect:

Defense: Given the complainant's age and weight, if she had drunk as much as she claims, would she have been competent at 1:00 AM?

Prosecution Expert Witness: No, she would definitely not have been competent.

Defense (fishing): What would have been her condition at, say, 3:00 AM?

Expert (consulting table): She would have been dead.

Maybe a better rule would be: Don't coach your witnesses to give implausible testimony.

I first heard this law from Admiral GraceHopper, one of Cobol's founders as such: It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

p.s. Who was Baird?